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Proverbs 19:11 teaches, 鈥淎 person鈥檚 wisdom yields patience; / it is to one鈥檚 glory to overlook an offense.鈥� To 鈥渙verlook鈥� an offense is to take no notice of wrongs done against oneself, to refuse to retaliate or seek revenge, to let affronts go, or, in a word, to forgive.

First, we can observe that the first half of the proverb focuses on self-control. The ESV puts it this way: 鈥淕ood sense makes one slow to anger.鈥� The NLT says, 鈥淪ensible people control their temper.鈥� Patience, being slow to anger, and self-control are good virtues to possess. Patience and self-control are listed as part of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23), an essential part of the Christian鈥檚 lifestyle. Our responses are to be reasonable and measured. We should increasingly grow in our ability to control ourselves when angry and overlook offenses when we can.

Second, we know that anger itself is not wrong but rather how we express it. James 1:19–20 states, 鈥淓veryone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.鈥� Offenses do come, and there are times when anger is called for, but anger should not be our first response in any given situation. Our goal is to control our expression of anger and, when possible, overlook an offense.

Third, the Bible calls us to not be easily angered. God Himself is 鈥渟low to anger鈥� (Nahum 1:3), and we should be, too. A 鈥渟low fuse鈥� is the product of wisdom and love. First Corinthians 13:5 says that love 鈥渋s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.鈥� To aid us in developing this type of self-control, we can also carefully choose our friends: 鈥淒o not make friends with a hot-tempered person, / do not associate with one easily angered鈥� (Proverbs 22:24). Those who are easily angered show a lack of self-control.

Fourth, God considers it a 鈥済lory鈥� to overlook an offense. In other words, overlooking a wrong done to oneself is a sign of maturity and grace. Forgiving others is worthy of respect. It is a triumph for us to forgive and to take no notice of injuries and offenses. Jesus taught, 鈥淚f your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying 鈥業 repent,鈥� you must forgive them鈥� (Luke 17:3–4). Of course, God has forgiven our sins, for Christ鈥檚 sake; for us to forgive others, for Christ鈥檚 sake, is a glorious thing.

Other proverbs also express this theme. Proverbs 17:9 notes, 鈥淲hoever would foster love covers over an offense.鈥� Proverbs 10:12 says, 鈥淟ove covers over all wrongs.鈥� We also see this virtue lived out in David鈥檚 story. He refused to retaliate against King Saul, although the king was trying to kill him (see 1 Samuel 24:5–7). And David chose to overlook the curses (and other things) that Shimei hurled at him (2 Samuel 16:5–14).

鈥淎 person鈥檚 wisdom yields patience; / it is to one鈥檚 glory to overlook an offense鈥� (Proverbs 19:11). Stating this verse conversely provides this paraphrase: 鈥淎 person鈥檚 folly yields impatience; / it is to one鈥檚 shame to refuse to forgive.鈥� Forgiveness is graceful; revenge is disgraceful.

Overlooking an offense does not negate justice. It doesn鈥檛 mean we turn a blind eye to sin or pretend that evil doesn鈥檛 exist. It means we are willing to forgive, especially when the offense is directed toward us. It means we refuse to hold grudges. There are many trifling things that could bother us, but by the grace of God we let them slide. There are other, not-so-trifling things that could harm us, but by the grace of God we determine to forgive. And there are situations that require a quick, decisive response, but by the grace of God we are slow to anger even as we stop the wrongdoing.

How is this overlooking of an offense accomplished? From a human standpoint, it is impossible. But God鈥檚 Spirit at work in the life of a believer offers the power to forgive any wrong. Jesus taught us to pray like this: 鈥淔orgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors鈥� (Matthew 6:12). We forgive because we have been forgiven, knowing that all have sinned and fall short of God鈥檚 glory (Romans 3:23). In wisdom we know what requires a response and what does not. In patience we turn the other cheek (Matthew 5:39). In love we choose to overlook the insults, slurs, and slights that come our way.